Emo

Emo is a particular style of dress and attitude. Its whiney and dumb. But you probably already knew that. What you may not know is that Emo is really a virus. Like genital warts, a person can go into remission and not be able to infect others. This state is achieved by going out, having fun, going on adventures in the country, and generally being happy. However the EMO virus can erupt again during states of high stress, such as being dumped or when a new Dashboard Confessional song shows up on the Internet.







So you think you might be "Emo"...


Lets start simple... I'll type slowly, because lets be honest- you probably can't read that fast. The basic characteristics of an "Emo kid" are simple.

For Men
>You're wearing tight jeans that are your sister's
>You wear black eyeliner to accentuate your sadness
>You listen to Hawthorne Heights[1] and cry
>You write poetry, and so do all of your friends- none of them get paid or get laid
>Your "Bleeding Heart" is all you ever talk about
And by "talk", I mean bitch incessantly
>You wear non-prescription Weezer glasses
>You are intensly gay and get of with other guys, saying: "It was only one, or maybe three"
>You have a tendency to scratch wrists with a potato peeler
>You seem to have the same, slightly higher-pitched-than-normal voice that all male emos seem to have adopted.








For Women
>You don't wear deodorant
>You get scared with the mention of girls or real people. (Applies to males as well.)
>People often mistake you for a dyke
>Or a man
>Or a wolf man
>Your hair is cut shorter than mine or is a big mop that hides the entirety of your zit-covered face.
>You have anger and or depression issues, yet you don't have any real stress in your life to cause these.